Categories
12AM thoughts Uncategorized

Flashback

Dear ex love of my life,

A few days ago, I checked your Facebook account. We’re not Facebook friends anymore. I erased you out of my life. I erased all the chances of us talking, although I know you never tried (haha). I saw your cover photo, it’s a picture of you with your new girl. I’d be a hypocrite if I say that I didn’t feel a pinch of hurt. Here you are again, making someone feel like a princess until that girl knows who you really are.

I also felt like a complete fool, again. Because until now, I become more and more convinced that what we had was nothing to you. I was just the girl who was there at the most down moment of your life. I fixed you. And when you were fixed, you just threw me like some old model of a gadget that doesn’t serve a purpose for you anymore.

I know that there’s no more use in dwelling and repeatedly questioning myself. I was just a rebound, a pawn in a chess game that was dispensable for you to win. My feelings didn’t matter as long as you were happy. I didn’t expect this scar to hurt, because as far as I know, they don’t hurt when the wound has healed completely. But maybe then there’s no total recovery from you. Maybe I have to live with this feeling of betrayal, of losing to a player like you. God, I hate losing.

I don’t want to think of seeing you again. In fact, I hope that last time you drove me to the MRT station was our last memory. At least there was a bit of concern from you that one time.

I hope you’re happy. I hope you don’t hurt her the way you did to me. I hope you don’t leave her feeling less of herself. I hope you make her so happy that she won’t ever think that you’re capable of hurting someone so much.

I guess I have to live with these questions while waiting for what’s in it for me in this world. I just learned that I have to put myself first above anyone else. And maybe, if God gives me a chance to love again, I know that I have to keep a part of my heart to myself.

By Katey

Hi, I'm Katey, a medical student, writer, teacher, and biologist. This is where I write the lessons that I've learned during my adventures. Hit follow to get my latest tips, life updates, and even poetry. If you want to live a life with passion and purpose then you have come to the right place. Keep on shining.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s