Prepare and Dare

Do you remember how 2018 was? It was so good to you but it was also heartbreaking in some ways. You won and you lost. So many things happened right? There were a lot of surprises, some where good and some were bad but what matters is you learned.

You learned that gratitude is essential.

Every day there is still something to be grateful for. You might be in too much pain, but the sun still rose, your dad cooked breakfast for you, you have family who unconditionally looks out for you. Isn’t it amazing how everything seems orchestrated? There are people who truly care for you. You can make a list of those amazing humans and also the circumstances which brought you to where you are right now.

Love is found in the mundane.

Our princess mentality taught us that love should be in a form of a knight in shining armor or grand romantic expressions. But in 2018, maybe you saw and realized that it’s actually carved in the simple, repetitive actions. It’s when your bestfriend checks up on you, or when your friend tags you in a meme. It’s when someone listens to your rants or eats lunch with you. Love is when your little brother hugs you or when your cousin plays with you. It is actually everywhere, sometimes we’re just too clouded with pain and anger to notice it. I hope you learn to look for it, even in in the most difficult situations.

Accept. Accept. Accept.

Whatever it is, accept. Whether it’s good or bad accept. This Earth is not a paradise. Maybe you got lucky and got a fair share of wealth or maybe it’s the opposite. You may be slaying your goals or not getting the results you want. Nevertheless, you must still learn to accept what is. Because only with a heart that acknowledges what the present moment offers, can you operate from a genuine place. Learn how to be okay with what you have.

Try your best to see with compassion.

This is really hard to do especially when someone is just rude to you for some reason, and you don’t understand what you did wrong for that person to hate you. Even if the other person is just too mean, you have to do your best to look at the person and situation with compassion. Their behavior is not about you, it’s about their pain. They are just projecting that to you. Probably because you are a reflection of who they can’t be or unresolved childhood issues that has nothing to do with you.

At the end of the day, only yourself can save you.

You should be your own best friend and cheer leader. Stop relying on others. You are allowed to ask for help but you must not put your life on someone else’s hands. Be the captain of your own ship. Discover who you are, your dreams and passions and relentlessly follow it. More importantly, take responsibility for everything that happens in your life. You have no one to blame but yourself. Be mature enough. Respect other people’s time. Save yourself, don’t wait for others to do it for you.

Fake it till you make it.

No one has everything figured out, even the so called geniuses still has knowledge gaps. Sometimes you just have to pretend that you know what you’re doing even if you really don’t. Prepare and dare. Claim success like it’s your birthright. Who knows, you might just wake up living the dreams you never thought you could have.

We still have a lot to learn. This thought makes this new year even more exciting. I hope you do better this year, but if you don’t, know that it’s okay to fall short, what matters is you did the best that you could with what you have. 💕

To the Men in My Life

You are the first man who taught me about love.

What I know about this four letter word and how it should look like is because of you

You are far from perfect, there were times that I hated you

But for giving me life, for protecting and guiding me, Papa, the worth that I see in myself I owe it to you.

You are an authoritative figure.

I remember being scared when you get mad.

But time passed and now I always look forward to our grown-up conversations.

For giving me golden advice and the eloquence to speak my thoughts,

Thank you Lolo, a part of my wisdom, I owe it to you.

You guys showed me that not all men are pigs.

You amazed me with how smart and talented you are.

You were my source of laughter, drinking and study buddies.

You were a big part of who I’ve become.

Oh how I miss our laughs and intellectual banters,

College bros, thank you for showing me what fun is, my smiles in my teenage years, I owe it to you.

To the first guy I fell in love with, oh boy, I can’t even say

You made me laugh until I snort, you made me cry until I thought I would never see the beginning of another day.

Heartbreak is too painful but you made me realize,

I am worthy of love and I deserved better,

So much better than how you treated me.

My first tears out of love, I owe it to you.

To the last guy I loved, it sucks that it didn’t work out.

You got me and I got you, it was a magic that  is rarely found.

Too afraid or too young? I don’t know which one it is.

As the cliche goes, “I’m happy for you, even if it’s not with me.”

You’re my “Maybe one day” or maybe you’re a lesson learned, but it’s okay.

My clarity for the next person I’ll love, I owe it to you.

To my two guy best friends who I’m in med school with,

Who saves me when I drown,

Who laughs and drinks with me and hugs me when I weep,

You both are puzzling and funny, too smart sometimes  to your own demise.

I hope as we journey med school, our friendship goes strong,

For your company, I’m grateful,

My smiles and comfort in med school, I owe it to you.

Sometimes we spend so much time hating on the wrong ones,

We often forget that we have good hearts around us.

And so to the person reading this, think of the good men out there.

Focus on them, love them, and be with them.

 

 

Jump and Fall

I am a risk taker. Period.

When I say I take risks, it’s not the do or die extreme sports stuff that I’m talking about. I take risks, life-changing, mind-boggling, and disturbing risks to the people around me.

I almost always say go for it.

I won a lot of times when I just say, fuck it, let’s go. Than when I shy away from opportunities and go back to my safe haven.

I took a plane and went abroad, alone. I got lost many times in that foreign country, alone. I applied for a job that I had no experience whatsoever and just said, yeah, let’s do this. I have confessed to a guy, got rejected, and looked like a fool. I wanted to sing with a live audience and so I did. I gave my heart to someone who didn’t feel the same. I took loads of risks. Hence I can say, who I am today, is a result of thousands of choices, good and bad. I worked hard to be better and I still am working to be a better version of my yesterday self.

Do I regret taking risks?

Hell no.

Well, I could’ve done better but here’s the thing, I learned because of tons of mistakes on my part. I became wiser because I put myself out there and allowed the universe to interact with my everyday actions. I chose to happen to things, and things happened to me.

But isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?

They tell us to play it safe, to stick to the status quo, to numb our hearts and forget about emotions. They said we should always have a thick wall that no one can ever penetrate.  They said we should not trust people. They said we should do whatever it takes to distance our vulnerable self from people.

But honey, what kind of life is that?

A life of no risks, of not jumping the cliff because of the fear of the unknown, a boring, mundane existence. No. I can’t fathom living like that.

I’d rather be bruised and wounded than stay unscathed but without stories to tell and lives touched. You can’t make me live in that fortress.

I know that by taking risks, there is a a big chance for you to get hurt. But by doing so, you live. You love, and you learn. Experience and mistakes teaches you more than any theory out there. When you go the arena, and play, you get to have the chance to bask in life.

There are no guarantees of happy endings. Because happiness after all, is a temporary feeling. But why don’t we fill each day with those tiny moments of happiness? Live in the moment. Take risks. Jump and fall and learn.

The Cure for Worry

Have you ever felt a pang of loneliness that just seem to come out of nowhere? Like, yesterday you were feeling so great. In fact you thought you could conquer the world. You felt that you’re in the flow of things. You were unstoppable. But suddenly, this wave of emotions just submerged you in an ocean of sadness. Where in the world did that come from? You might have asked yourself why you have to feel those things that you were trying so hard to get rid of.

Here’s the thing, what you felt was a necessary low vibration part of your life. Just like in the teachings of Jesus, there is a season for everything, “a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2)”And they are all essential. The plucking and dying part is needed. You do not have a choice.

You have to go through all these range of emotions because it will make you into a different but better you. There are no shortcuts or escapes from these stages in your life. If you run from it, it will go after you and manifest in negative patterns. It could be as mundane as watching too much TV or something worse like drugs and alcohol addiction. Even overthinking arises from trying to figure out the ‘why’ in your feelings. So what can you do when you are experiencing this sadness black hole?

Feel it.

Whatever you are feeling now, just feel it. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. You are doing what you can with what you have. You are showing up even when it is the last thing that you want to do.

You got out of bed. You took a bath, brushed your teeth. You showed up! Isn’t that what’s important? Showing up even when it’s so hard to do it. Be proud of yourself for showing up.

One good example of this is when you’re out of money or in tons of debt. Instead of thinking that you are doomed and fueling all these negative energy, just breathe. recognize even the coins that you have, appreciate them. Thank God or whatever higher power you believe in with what you’ve got. Money flows. Money is a tool but it’s not everything. Make peace with money. Be kind to your heart. Be glad that you are in this world doing something. This attitude will bring you joy. And when there is joy, abundance follows. Just try it and see.

Try to remember those people you’ve helped. Back-read their messages and let it sink in you that there’s something in you that only you have that in a way has changed these people. Say to yourself that today, in any way that you can, you are going to be that light.

When you’re feeling helpless, help someone. Right at this moment maybe, you just wanna get inside your cave and curl up, and hide from everything. But that’s not you anymore. You are resilient. No matter what’s thrown at you, you will always find your way back to that place of joy, love, and ease.

Stop worrying about money or being alone. Start appreciating whatever is in your purse and bank account. Wow! ____ dollars. Amazing! Money flows. So you need not worry. You are going to manifest money in ways that you can’t even imagine. Stop moping. The world needs your sparkle.

Remember, it’s okay to mope, just try not staying in sadness island for a long time. Honor what you feel. Accept who you are wholeheartedly. Accept that you couldn’t do your workout today. Accept that you can’t finish all your workload all at once. You are hustling with all you’ve got. Give yourself a break. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

All you have to care about right now is this moment. As you are sitting in your office or taking care of your kids or whatever you’re doing, visualize how this day is gonna be like. Again, visualize, not make expectations. If something that is not in your vision happens, it’s alright. You are fine sweetie. You always find a way. The universe has your back. It is not working against you. The universe is for you.

Is that a smile? Nice. See? Just breathe and relax. You are here to experience life, not to run a race. Say it aloud: I AM NOT IN A RACE. Just do things one step at a time and stop comparing. Right now you’re breathing and your heart is beating and there is nothing more important than that.

A Letter to my Anxious Friend

Dear anxious friend,

I’ve heard that you are feeling helpless and exhausted. I’ve learned that you are tired of it all and terrified of the future. First of all, I want you to know that I am giving you my virtual hugs and that I am here for you. 

Why do you worry so much about what’s ahead? Why do you always think that you’re doomed?  Why don’t you just play?

Do you  find yourself overwhelmed with the work that you have to do and the responsibilities attached to you? Maybe you do. But I wrote this letter to remind you that you don’t need to think about the future all the time. Plan out your life. Have a vision. But please don’t miss the point of living. Experience it. Play.

I know that sometimes things can be overwhelming and you just want to escape the chaos that is  ‘your life’. But I want you to know that you just have to think about today. Think only about today.

Are you breathing? Is your heart beating?

Then you’re alright. You are just fine. You are going to be okay. Face the world with a playful heart and the lightness of a feather. Your day is not supposed to be suffering after suffering. Sometimes it seems like it’s like that. But believe me, it isn’t and it doesn’t have to.

Just look around you. Do you have a family that loves you, or a best friend that is always there to the rescue? If you’ve got even just one, then relax. You have more than enough to be fine.

If you’re looking around and what you see are your friends who seem like they got it all together, then it’s time to calm down. Breathe. We’re not in a race. It’s not about who becomes the richest or who has traveled the world most. Define success in your own terms.

Some people dream of living in the city and busting their ass in their work, while others dream of a calm, free, and peaceful life. Maybe you dream of living on a mountain. Who cares? It’s your life. If they’re doing big things it doesn’t mean that you are a failure. You are the painter of your own masterpiece. You decide what is the best life possible for you, no matter how big or small that is.

You do you.

Today you are okay. That’s all that matters. Only for today love. When you find yourself worrying, just place your hand on your heart, feel your breath and your heartbeat. If you can still feel it then that means you are just fine.

Listen to the true sound of your soul. Filter the noise. Live life in your own terms. Fly high or low, it doesn’t matter. You just have to be the most authentic you.  That will always be enough.

Love,

Katey

How to not let your job kill you

Many people are saying how stressed they are at work. I often hear these words from my friends, “my boss is demanding, the salary is so small, there’s too much pressure, or I hate my job.” First off, I want you to breath. Sometimes we have too much on our plate that we forget to notice that we are still breathing. I’m here to give you some tips to make work a happy experience.

  1. Gratitude

When you come from a place of gratitude it is hard to hate your work. Make a list of the benefits that you are getting from your job. Your work pays the bills and puts food on the table. You have to be kind to your work because it feeds you and makes you look awesome. So many people are struggling to find a decent job so please thank the heavens that you got one.

2. Set an Intention

Upon waking up, it is very important to set an intention.  Every morning what I do is say these words, ” Dear God, universe, and eternal presence, please guide me throughout this day so that I can be a vessel that serves your highest purpose. Allow me to be a conduit to your grace so that everyone I interact with feels your light.” Setting an intention can make or break your day. If you have a good intention, positive actions will follow.

3. Make a List

Writing your tasks will give you a sense of clarity. You will be able to maneuver the day swiftly because you know what to do next. If you ain’t writing about it, then you really don’t know what you are doing. You’re just like random molecules floating and bumping with other molecules waiting for a chemical reaction to happen. You’re not going to make something out of the day because you’re just letting yourself get dragged by your work.

4. Be early.

If you’re always late at work, it will set the tone of your day. You will be pressured, freaked out and overwhelmed because you didn’t have some grace period to plan your day out. It’s like going to war without some military tactics. You are bound to get shot by revolvers, although in the work place it’s tasks.

5. Get off social media.

Facebook, twitter, and Instagram, are sure fire ways to kill productivity. You have to be wise about where you spend your mental energy. These sites kill your time. I’m not saying you should totally go off grid. What I’m trying to say is when you have a task, disconnect. Respect your task by giving your 100% in it. If you want outstanding results then it’s time to let go of half-ass efforts.

6. Play some tunes.

Music is soothing. If you’re an anxious person, you need this. Play some instrumental tunes. It could be classical, piano, or any relaxing sound. It can calm you and easily take you to that ‘flow’ state. It must be instrumental or else your brain will start interpreting the lyrics and restart its endless overthinking machine.

7. Bedazzle your stuff and yourself.

Dress up and wear make-up. Use colorful pens, pretty notebooks, or decorate your workplace. Colors and looking good makes you receptive to inspiration. When you’re inspired it’s easy to be playful, light, and creative, which is awesome. You will see work as a playground rather than a battlefield.

8. Eat right and exercise.

Maybe you’ve heard the saying that you are what you eat. Love your body by nourishing it with the food that it deserves and the training that it needs.  We get a massage when we want to relax. Treat your body well by providing it with the nutrients that it needs. Our body does the action, and in order to do awesome things it has to be at its best.

9. Get focused.

Do tasks one by one. I am a big fan of just focusing on one task so that the result will have a great quality. Multitasking makes your ideas scattered. If you come to think of it, when you’re multitasking you’re accomplishing tasks but sacrificing its quality. Quality is everything. Rather than doing so many things at once, try to break down your tasks into bits and then do each one with all your heart at a specified amount of time. This keeps you from getting overwhelmed and prevents you from disappointment.

10. Have a break.

Allow your brain to rest. You can walk, browse your social media feed, or talk to your workmates. Breaks prevent burnout. Giving your all the entire time will exhaust you and make you less productive. So if you’ve worked for four hours straight, cut yourself some slack. Watch cute cat videos. Laugh.

11. Smile

A grumpy face will give you a grumpy outcome. Smile and the world will smile back. What if there’s a shit sandwich? Do you still smile? Nope. You’re allowed to get mad, but recognize that at the end of the day you are the master of your emotions. Smile, shake it off, and seize the remaining hours of the day.

12. If your job is draining you physically, financially, spiritually, and emotionally, QUIT.

You get what you allow. Some work places are just toxic and even if you practice all my tips above, if your management doesn’t value their employees by overworking them, underpaying and professionally abusing you. Honey, just quit! Life is too short to spend your life in a job that is killing you. Remember the song  ” what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,”? If your job does kill you then get yourself out of that situation. Yes, life can be hard but it doesn’t need to be a constant suffering. You can always get another job but if you get sick because of your demanding work, then it’s not worth it. Please don’t die for your work.

Life is fleeting. We always have a choice on how we want to spend this short amount of time we have. Are you going to be miserable or happy? It’s totally up to you. – @misskateykatey

10 Morning Habits that will Create a Fantastic Life

Success leaves clues. Picture a person that you admire. Maybe there was a time when you said the words, “I want to be like him or her someday.” So how do we do it? How do we become the person that we want to be? Well, you study that person.

Based on the tons of stalking that I did with my idols such as Oprah Winfrey, Tony Robbins, Gabby Bernstein, Marie Forleo, and a lot more, they have one thing in common, a morning routine. Here are ten things that you can do every day to make sure that you will have a kickass life.

  1. Wake up early honey. 

The silence of early mornings will provide you with the stillness that is needed for you to maneuver the day with ease and a mindful spirit. If you ever felt like you’re a robot who does things just because you have to, then this is something that you really need to do. Have time for silence and stillness, and honey the best time to do that is early in the morning like 4 AM or 5 AM. You won’t regret doing it. So sleep early so you can have a peaceful start for tomorrow.

2. First words matter! Say thank you.

Waking up early should be followed by a gratitude statement. Words are powerful. In fact, it can set the tone of your day. Instead of getting angry at your alarm clock or cursing the universe, please do this world a favor, be appreciative. Say thank you to the higher power that you believe in. Gratitude and anger cannot happen at the same time. So if you start the day with a grateful heart, there’s a big chance that your day’s gonna be awesome. Say three things that you are grateful for. You can say, “Thank you universe cause I’m alive.” Or, “Thank you for my family, my job, my health and my friends.” We often take for granted what we have, but the fact that you’re alive, that’s quite amazing.

3. Meditate ‘Yo

Sit in stillness. You can turn on a relaxing instrumental music, or search a youtube video for meditation. This is scientifically proven. Meditation brings a lot of benefits to our health. With all these technology and distraction here and there, we need to make an effort to clarify our thoughts and just let the moment be. People right now are always rushing to do this and that and we forget to be more present. Meditation will bring presence in your life and a higher sense of awareness. It will give you a flow. The more calm your mind is, the more creative ideas will pop up and so you can be more productive and innovative throughout the day.

4. Set your intention. (And it better be good)

Intentions matter. Good intentions create a fulfilling life through positive actions. Make sure that your intentions will benefit not just you, but also the people that you interact with.  When you are doing good in this world or simply spreading a positive aura by smiling more often, people will gravitate towards you. They want to be with you more because you create such a warm environment for them. You will be love and the bonus is they will also love you.

5.  Ask for guidance sister.

Pray. Lean to a higher presence. Ask God, the universe, or any higher being/s that you believe in to guide you. There will be days when you need to make tough decisions. That’s the time when inner guidance comes in handy. When you are guided, you will trust that the universe will point you towards the right path. There’s less stress and anxiety because you surrendered to a higher power than you.

6. Eat your yummy breakfast. 

You guys know the benefits of eating breakfast.  It gives you the energy that you will need for the entire day. It also increases your satiety, which prevents you from binging. Please don’t tell me that you don’t have time for breakfast. If you have time for facebook then it means you have time for breakfast. Make sure that you eat healthy food.

7. Drink a hot beverage.

There’s something with coffee, tea, or lemon infused hot water that keeps you calm in the morning. Sit down and drink your coffee. Again, no emails or social media while doing this.  You have to keep your morning as calm and peaceful as possible because at work, there will be loads of distraction. Sip  your hot beverage with an attitude of appreciation for the present moment.

8. Put on some tunes. 

Music feeds your soul. You can play some tunes while taking a bath or applying makeup. There’s an unexplainable warmth that comes from listening to music. Take note, it must be instrumental. Lyrics makes you think (and gives you throwbacks), so inch away from that. All the thinking can be done later.

9. Move your muscle baby. 

Physical exercise brings a change in your physiology. If there’s a change in your current state it will bring about positive actions. Exercise feels good and the bonus is you will look good. Not all schedules permit time for early morning exercise, so if a morning workout is not possible, it’s perfectly fine to do it after you get home from work. You just have to make sure that your blood is flowing throughout your body  every day.

10. Practice mindfulness.

If you’re a big fan of multitasking then you might have to think about this one. When we multitask we decrease the quality of our actions. We can multitask in simple things such as listening to music while cleaning or doing laundry. But most of the time, we need to be in the moment. Just be. We are human beings. Appreciate the present moment, the now. That’s the only thing that is important. Notice your breath, your heartbeat, use your senses, relax your muscles, and take in every moment. Time flies so fast. You have to soak in every moment.

 

These are things that created a huge change in my life. It has made me more creative and more positive. It makes me a better teacher and accomplishing these creates a momentum in my day. A great day leads to a great week, a great month, a great year, and a great life. Give it a go and I know for sure that it will change your life.

As Chris Guillebeau once said, “the choices that we make now affects the opportunities available to us in the future.” 

 

 

Clarity

Have you ever felt like your life was like a repetitive cycle of failures? Or maybe you were so anxious because nothing exciting was happening or maybe the same problems kept on slamming you again and again. Let me guess, you even thought that you were a problem magnet.

I longed for an answer for the curse that I seemingly had. How can other people be happy, while I cannot. Or at least for me, happiness was fleeting. I felt like I had to savor the happy moments because if I don’t, I’ll miss out on that happy bubble and then it’ll pop and it would probably take a long time before that same bubble reappears.

If you’re at that place, please read on.

The moment you accept that you are not what happens to you, that is the start of your wonderful journey in this world. The reason why many people are miserable, getting addicted to drugs, alcohol, food, and TV is because we keep on looking for the solution outside of ourselves. We think that if we possess all these material stuff, happiness is automatic and it’ll be there to stay. But, look at all these celebrities, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, and Elvis Presley, they can have anything they want in this world. People love them. But why did they die of drug overdose? It’s because they kept on finding love outside of themselves.

The way to a fulfilled life is to know who you are. You must first have a sense of clarity of who you are in the first place. Who are you? You want to know the answer?

You are love.

Yep, you were born out of love. From your first breath, everything about you is love. That is your original design. You are a physical manifestation of love. But why are there so many depressed people? It’s because things that were happening outside of them shaped them to be a survival machine, and along the road, they forgot who they were. I’m writing this to tell you that no matter what mistakes you made, failures, or traumatic experience you’ve had, from the beginning, you are love.

When it’s clear to you, life is gonna be like a fairy tale. It’s a magical experience. There will be ups and downs but still, you have this stillness inside. At the core, you know that no matter how chaotic your outside is, you will be okay. You know that your mission in this world is to radiate whatever it is that is already inside you. This jaded world cannot ever steal your sunshine.  You will be part of this universe’s flow. You are one with the universe, and not against its natural rhythm.

If only more people realize this simple but powerful truth, believe me a massive change will happen. We will stop hating  and fighting each other. We will lift humanity and truly make this world a wonderful place to live. Start with yourself. Every time a heated situation or a challenge comes, speak these words, “I am love.”