To the girl who’s tired of it all

I know that you want to help other people so much. You have a big heart that wants to take care of everyone . But you can’t. you are doing your best with what you have. You are doing great despite the shit sandwich thrown at you. You are okay. It’s still good. You’re still breathing. You have food on your plate, a job that you love, friends that support you, and a lot more. I know that it can be tiring. I know that sometimes you just wish you were born in different circumstances, that the responsibilities are not this heavy, that life isn’t this hard. I know that sometimes you’re tired of it all.

 But it’s okay.

 It’s okay to cry. It’s normal to be exhausted. Life is not meant to be perfect. Life is meant to be experienced. Let go of control and expectations. You’ve known at a young age that things cannot be controlled. No matter how much you plan out everything and prevent shitty things from happening, shit still happens. And it’s okay.

 You are still breathing. Your heart is still beating. And when those two are intact, then you have more than enough to be thankful for. It is not a problem, it is just a situation. Think of now. Think of this moment. It’s all you’ve got, the now.

 Embrace your life. Accept the present. Work and love. Breathe.You’re awesome.

 Love,
Katey

Admitting Addictions

Do you have an addiction?

An addiction can be anything. It could be drugs, alcohol, sex, binge watching, social media, or food. It can even be as mundane as nail biting or as weird as eating your hair.

As for me I have recently learned that I had addictive patterns. I was addicted to scrolling through social media, binge watching, worst case scenario thinking, beating myself up (mentally), and eating. Believe me, these addictive patterns has caused me a lot of missed opportunities and major life mistakes.

Any addiction is bad. Period.

It doesn’t do any good to your physical and mental well-being. But first you must understand that an addictive pattern has a source. People who are addicted to drugs, smoking, and alcohol has that same feeling when we get addicted to something. They can’t get off it until they had awareness, and a one on one talk with the discomfort that they are trying to avoid.

Sometimes we even wonder if we are the problem. Maybe you think it’s impossible. You’ve probably asked why can’t you stop yourself from grabbing that next bar of chocolate? Or why are you so hooked to a TV drama that you totally forget about your deadlines?

Every addiction has a source. As my spirituality mentor Gabby Bernstein says, there is a feeling underneath any addiction. We get addicted to something for a lot of reasons and usually it is to escape from a feeling.

You are not alone in this addictive behavior. So far, I have dealt with my social media, binge watching, overthinking, and self-beating  addictions. Currently, I am in the process of healing my food addiction. I still am praying and researching about how I can overcome my love and hate relationship with food.

To the few who are reading this blog, know that you are not alone. Everybody deals with an addiction, whatever that addiction is.

I will be writing about how I overcame my  unhealthy addictive patterns and I hope that you will be here with me. Let us support each other to be our most authentic selves.

I’m here. I’ll listen.

A Letter to my Anxious Friend

Dear anxious friend,

I’ve heard that you are feeling helpless and exhausted. I’ve learned that you are tired of it all and terrified of the future. First of all, I want you to know that I am giving you my virtual hugs and that I am here for you. 

Why do you worry so much about what’s ahead? Why do you always think that you’re doomed?  Why don’t you just play?

Do you  find yourself overwhelmed with the work that you have to do and the responsibilities attached to you? Maybe you do. But I wrote this letter to remind you that you don’t need to think about the future all the time. Plan out your life. Have a vision. But please don’t miss the point of living. Experience it. Play.

I know that sometimes things can be overwhelming and you just want to escape the chaos that is  ‘your life’. But I want you to know that you just have to think about today. Think only about today.

Are you breathing? Is your heart beating?

Then you’re alright. You are just fine. You are going to be okay. Face the world with a playful heart and the lightness of a feather. Your day is not supposed to be suffering after suffering. Sometimes it seems like it’s like that. But believe me, it isn’t and it doesn’t have to.

Just look around you. Do you have a family that loves you, or a best friend that is always there to the rescue? If you’ve got even just one, then relax. You have more than enough to be fine.

If you’re looking around and what you see are your friends who seem like they got it all together, then it’s time to calm down. Breathe. We’re not in a race. It’s not about who becomes the richest or who has traveled the world most. Define success in your own terms.

Some people dream of living in the city and busting their ass in their work, while others dream of a calm, free, and peaceful life. Maybe you dream of living on a mountain. Who cares? It’s your life. If they’re doing big things it doesn’t mean that you are a failure. You are the painter of your own masterpiece. You decide what is the best life possible for you, no matter how big or small that is.

You do you.

Today you are okay. That’s all that matters. Only for today love. When you find yourself worrying, just place your hand on your heart, feel your breath and your heartbeat. If you can still feel it then that means you are just fine.

Listen to the true sound of your soul. Filter the noise. Live life in your own terms. Fly high or low, it doesn’t matter. You just have to be the most authentic you.  That will always be enough.

Love,

Katey

Art: the Insanity Pill

When I  was still in university, we were required to take subjects in the humanities. One was about art. God forbid (sorry to my professors) I hated that class because I didn’t have any creative juice in me.

I didn’t know what to write when were asked to submit a critique about an art installation. I dozed off in most of the  stage plays that we were required to watch. I didn’t get it.

For me art was drawing and creating masterpieces, and as long as I can remember, my best art work was the vase that I drew in kindergarten. Art was my Achilles heel. Others find drawing cathartic but as for me, I found it excruciating.

But as I grew up and learned, art was not what I thought it was. Art is not just about drawing stuff. Art was about creating ‘anything.’ You don’t have to be a Michelangelo to call yourself an artist. Any form of expression is art. Music, dance, poetry, writing, they are all art. Teaching is an art. Loving is an art. Everything around us speaks art.

I had an epiphany. I was shocked to learn that I was an artist all along. I kept on doing all these things that I thought were expressions of my pragmatic self. Or that because I was a driven person. I kept on looking back, to the poems and songs I wrote, the way I did things, they were all art.

Art is lovely. Art makes you escape the realities of the world.

Isn’t it just fascinating how we can make things that are therapeutic for us and surprisingly for others too? Some people paint, others speak or write. Some make music or dance. Even the most mundane activities is art.

Now more than ever, we need to allow our most creative self to play on the surface. Many people are too caught up with the demands of living that they forget how to breathe and play with their creative side. When you create something out of love, it will circumvent the world. Creations are treasures, so please keep on creating.

Instead of staying inside your head with your thoughts (which isn’t good) grab a pen, or a pencil. Art is your best friend. It will keep you from lying on the couch. It will make you live.

No matter how nonsense your art might be for other people, please do create. Keep at it. Just do it. The world needs your sparkle. Stop hesitating, just freaking make something.

How to not let your job kill you

Many people are saying how stressed they are at work. I often hear these words from my friends, “my boss is demanding, the salary is so small, there’s too much pressure, or I hate my job.” First off, I want you to breath. Sometimes we have too much on our plate that we forget to notice that we are still breathing. I’m here to give you some tips to make work a happy experience.

  1. Gratitude

When you come from a place of gratitude it is hard to hate your work. Make a list of the benefits that you are getting from your job. Your work pays the bills and puts food on the table. You have to be kind to your work because it feeds you and makes you look awesome. So many people are struggling to find a decent job so please thank the heavens that you got one.

2. Set an Intention

Upon waking up, it is very important to set an intention.  Every morning what I do is say these words, ” Dear God, universe, and eternal presence, please guide me throughout this day so that I can be a vessel that serves your highest purpose. Allow me to be a conduit to your grace so that everyone I interact with feels your light.” Setting an intention can make or break your day. If you have a good intention, positive actions will follow.

3. Make a List

Writing your tasks will give you a sense of clarity. You will be able to maneuver the day swiftly because you know what to do next. If you ain’t writing about it, then you really don’t know what you are doing. You’re just like random molecules floating and bumping with other molecules waiting for a chemical reaction to happen. You’re not going to make something out of the day because you’re just letting yourself get dragged by your work.

4. Be early.

If you’re always late at work, it will set the tone of your day. You will be pressured, freaked out and overwhelmed because you didn’t have some grace period to plan your day out. It’s like going to war without some military tactics. You are bound to get shot by revolvers, although in the work place it’s tasks.

5. Get off social media.

Facebook, twitter, and Instagram, are sure fire ways to kill productivity. You have to be wise about where you spend your mental energy. These sites kill your time. I’m not saying you should totally go off grid. What I’m trying to say is when you have a task, disconnect. Respect your task by giving your 100% in it. If you want outstanding results then it’s time to let go of half-ass efforts.

6. Play some tunes.

Music is soothing. If you’re an anxious person, you need this. Play some instrumental tunes. It could be classical, piano, or any relaxing sound. It can calm you and easily take you to that ‘flow’ state. It must be instrumental or else your brain will start interpreting the lyrics and restart its endless overthinking machine.

7. Bedazzle your stuff and yourself.

Dress up and wear make-up. Use colorful pens, pretty notebooks, or decorate your workplace. Colors and looking good makes you receptive to inspiration. When you’re inspired it’s easy to be playful, light, and creative, which is awesome. You will see work as a playground rather than a battlefield.

8. Eat right and exercise.

Maybe you’ve heard the saying that you are what you eat. Love your body by nourishing it with the food that it deserves and the training that it needs.  We get a massage when we want to relax. Treat your body well by providing it with the nutrients that it needs. Our body does the action, and in order to do awesome things it has to be at its best.

9. Get focused.

Do tasks one by one. I am a big fan of just focusing on one task so that the result will have a great quality. Multitasking makes your ideas scattered. If you come to think of it, when you’re multitasking you’re accomplishing tasks but sacrificing its quality. Quality is everything. Rather than doing so many things at once, try to break down your tasks into bits and then do each one with all your heart at a specified amount of time. This keeps you from getting overwhelmed and prevents you from disappointment.

10. Have a break.

Allow your brain to rest. You can walk, browse your social media feed, or talk to your workmates. Breaks prevent burnout. Giving your all the entire time will exhaust you and make you less productive. So if you’ve worked for four hours straight, cut yourself some slack. Watch cute cat videos. Laugh.

11. Smile

A grumpy face will give you a grumpy outcome. Smile and the world will smile back. What if there’s a shit sandwich? Do you still smile? Nope. You’re allowed to get mad, but recognize that at the end of the day you are the master of your emotions. Smile, shake it off, and seize the remaining hours of the day.

12. If your job is draining you physically, financially, spiritually, and emotionally, QUIT.

You get what you allow. Some work places are just toxic and even if you practice all my tips above, if your management doesn’t value their employees by overworking them, underpaying and professionally abusing you. Honey, just quit! Life is too short to spend your life in a job that is killing you. Remember the song  ” what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,”? If your job does kill you then get yourself out of that situation. Yes, life can be hard but it doesn’t need to be a constant suffering. You can always get another job but if you get sick because of your demanding work, then it’s not worth it. Please don’t die for your work.

Life is fleeting. We always have a choice on how we want to spend this short amount of time we have. Are you going to be miserable or happy? It’s totally up to you. – @misskateykatey

How do I become perfect?

Let me tell you a story about a girl who hates seeing herself in the mirror.

What I saw In the Mirror

I wasn’t always a fat kid. It was just when I turned second grade that I started getting fat. I was getting bigger and bigger until I hated looking at myself in the mirror. I looked at the mirror and at a young age I felt like there was always something wrong with my face and with how I look.

I would often play with Barbie dolls and would just be in an imaginary world where I am as beautiful as Barbie. But Barbie doesn’t have a huge mole on her face and she was skinny and she has a Ken. I will never look like Barbie so I thought I’d just collect them and imagine myself being them.

I was also very fond of television. Almost all lead actresses were skinny girls. Whenever there was a fat girl, she gets told that she was a pig or that her parents left her all alone in the kitchen that’s why she got so fat. And in the end, she’ll transform into a gorgeus skinny woman.

If you grew up in the Philippines, you’d just be surprised by how so many people just see you  for the way you look. My extended relatives often tell me that my nose was flat or I was fat. Nobody told me that I was beautiful. I never felt beautiful. I never felt enough. The media, my aunts and uncles, and almost everyone around me has this standard of a beautiful girl and if you don’t fit in that standard, you’re ugly or ordinary.

I did not continue to hone my passion in dancing because I thought nobody can lift me because I was so heavy. Clothes don’t look good on me. No one would want to be my partner. I was ugly. Every time I look at the mirror I call the girl in the reflection: fat, ugly, fat, ugly. I hated pictures because I didn’t like what I saw. I stopped smiling at any camera because I thought even if I smile, it won’t change a thing, I would still be fat and ugly.

These insecurities crippled me in terms of my self-confidence. I was looking for acceptance and validation. I was waiting for someone to tell me that I am beautiful. But that day didn’t come until I was 21 years old. So, for 21 years, I saw myself as an ugly person.

How I dealt with it

Since I couldn’t be noticed for the way I look, I tried anything that would make people notice me. It was in second grade when my teachers started to notice that I was a smart kid. My English teacher would let us read short stories and then she had a graded recitation after. The questions were basic, what, where, when, I can easily answer those. But for the why questions, no one in the class could think or articulate the answer. But, I can! So I bravely raised my hand and answered her why question in straight English. My teacher saw something in me that day. After that, I was motivated to go to school. My second grade teacher saw my potential. She included me in the “damath” practice. She made me practice declamation pieces. It was just a blast. She would hug me and I think I was her favorite student that time. Finally, there’s a place that accepts me, school. As long as I do great, people would love me. This included my parents and my teachers.

School became an escape, a way to cover the imperfections. I finally was shining because I was good at something. I excelled to be noticed and loved.

Excellence and Perfection

Growing up as an achiever is like a double-edged sword. Yes, I get the attention. But, little did everyone know that I was being hard on myself. I started seeing being ‘the best’ as my identity. If I join a math competition and I don’t win, I’d be so depressed. I just wanted to win, I wanted to be the best. I kept on comparing myself with my classmates. It was hard for me to accept that no matter how much I work hard, there will be people who will be better than me in all aspects. Sometimes I don’t sleep just to prepare for an exam, but still another person would beat my score and I’d still be disappointed with myself.

To put it bluntly, I mistook excellence for perfection. It thought they were the same thing. For every result that I get, there’s no joy when I realize that I wasn’t perfect. I remember being obsessed with my study table. It has to be clean or I won’t study. Everything should be perfect or else things would turn out bad. I was beating myself up so bad. I got obsessed with being perfect to the point of depression. I would hide in my apartment for a couple of days just because I failed an exam in chemistry. I got in the top university in the Philippines so I thought I could be the best there too.

All that mentality was wrong. It took a lot of failures and disappointments for me to realize that I cannot ever be perfect. As long as I was doing my best, that was enough. Trying to be perfect stole the joy in learning. I really was hard on myself all this time. Instead of trying to be the best, I focused on having the best time in university, being happy.

Acceptance

I cannot be perfect. I will never be a beautiful girl based on media standards. It’s always the skinny girl with perfect skin and pointed nose who gets to be called beautiful. That’s not me and that will never be me. I am Kate, a 5’2″, pear-shaped woman, with a flat nose, a wide forehead, and a mole on the right side of her nose. My hips are wider than most girls and I weigh more than the girls you see in magazines and TV.

But, I began to love how I look. I would often take selfies and would even get to be in photo shoots of my organization and direct their poses. Take it from the girl who used to hate the camera. I became quite good in enhancing other women’s beauty by giving them a makeover. I love fashion and clothes and reflecting my personality through what I’m wearing. I eat good food and I feel so healthy even if I am a plus-size girl.

I graduated in my dream University and I’m now living abroad and exploring the world. I accepted who I am. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see a fat girl, but, there’s this new woman inside me that tells that old Kate to stop. Destructive thoughts are now being blocked by the new me.

This is for You

This is the meaning of perfection in a dictionary.

  • Perfection is the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.
  • Perfection is something that cannot be improved.

Oops. Do you want that? Do you want to be a person that doesn’t improve?

Now that I’ve shared my perfection obsession story, I want you to do these things whenever you feel like you have the dire need to be perfect or when you’re disappointed with yourself.

  1. Look for role models.

Even if the media is portraying all these beautiful women (skinny, tall, and has a perfect skin) should be how we look like, let me tell you something: how you look is totally fine.

Stop trying to look like a  Kendall Jenner or Gigi Hadid. Start trying to be the true you. The perfectly imperfect amazing heck of a woman you. For me, I look up at admirable women such as Oprah Winfrey and Maya Angelou. I am more concerned with what women do than how they look like. I think beauty without depth is useless. Look up to women who are doing something great in this world.

2. Be a role model.

Inspire other girls to accept who they are. As John Legend says, “Love your curves and all your edges. All your perfect imperfections.”  Spread the body acceptance movement and tell other people that it’s okay, to make mistakes, to lose, and to fail. Be that person who embraces all your imperfections and tell the world, hey it’s me. If you don’t like how I look or who I am then screw you. You are here to inspire, to spread positivity and acceptance. You are not meant to criticize, you are meant to be the cheer leader of others who are fighting their own battles.

3. You are enough.

Whatever you are right now, that is enough. Wherever you are in your career, right at this moment, that is enough. Take baby steps but please, do the world a favor, stop being hard on yourself. Celebrate your victories. Cry for a while when you lose and then get back up. Whatever you did, that was enough. You are enough.

4. Stop expecting perfection.

When you finally accept how flawed you are and be okay with it, you will also be okay with other people’s imperfections. You will see them for who they are and not for who you expect them to be. You will also learn to love them.

5. You are not meant to be perfect. You are meant to be whole – Jane Fonda

You are meant to be a whole person. How do you do that? By accepting what is, and not focusing on what it’s supposed to be.

Accepting imperfection takes a lot of practice. But, when you master it, oh what a breath of fresh air comes. It’s like a big rock is lifted off your chest. It’s like having a new pair of eyeglasses, finally seeing the world the way it is and being okay with it. I hope you’re happy with who you are, but if you’re not, continue working on it. Remember that each one of us is a work in progress.

To the person reading this, to me, you are enough. You may not be perfect, but your imperfections make this world more interesting. Thank you for being you.

We don’t need much to be happy

There are three people who make me smile every day when I see them. They are not my friends, and I don’t actually know them. I bump into them at work, at home, and in market, but they don’t have a clue of how valuable their presence is. They just taught me a lot and they don’t know anything about it.

Our School Cleaner

Every day, I would see our school cleaner doing her job. She’s mopping floors and scrubbing here and there. We would greet each other when she comes to our office and when I see her I just see a woman who’s very happy in her job. She would have this big smile every day. Sometimes I wonder how she can smile when her task of making everything clean, for me, is so hard. But every single day, she would say good morning and make the surroundings sparkly. She cleans well. The previous cleaner in our building was a sad lady. But our current cleaner? She is a wonderful person to see very day. She does her job well, and she is happy.

The Egg Vendor

On Mondays, I pass by a woman selling different kinds of eggs. She can speak a little bit of English and whenever I buy eggs from her, she smiles in joy. One time, my money was one thousand and she doesn’t have change for it so she ran somewhere to get the change. In my previous experiences, vendors would often get angry when you give them a large cash and they don’t have change. But with this lady, she was even smiling as she was running to look for change. Every week, I would buy from her just because her happiness is viral. She even gives me one extra egg because I’m a loyal customer. She radiates.

Our Condo’s Security Guard

We have three security guards in rotation in our place. Our favorite guard is the one who always smiles and opens the door when we’re taking a long time to get the key card. He is happy every time we see him. My roommates and I would sometimes give him food because he is just such a nice person. I never see him sleep while on duty and I don’t know there’s just something about him that’s extra shiny.

So what’s the lesson I’ve learned from them?

We don’t need much to be happy.

Happiness is a choice. As long as we do everything with love, we can be happy. I used to think that I’ll be happy if I am rich, if I have nice clothes and a lot of money. Well, if you have a lot of material stuff, it will definitely make you more comfortable in this world. But comfort is not always associated with happiness. You may have everything you want, but still be miserable.

I saw in those three wonderful people that happiness is a decision. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean that you should be complacent and be okay with less. What I’m trying to say is, yes, you should work for what you want, but you can be happy along the way. If we’re too serious and too stressed just so we can make tons of money, it will backfire on us. It can be through a disease or through personal relationships being sacrificed.

We only get one shot in life. After this life, there’s none. So why do we have to spend it being unhappy, selfish, and miserable? If there’s one thing we should focus on, I think it should be figuring out how to make our self and the people around us more happy. How do we fight misery, sadness, and even violence? We can do this by creating a happy space. The first step is internal happiness. Start within and radiate. Try it, and you’ll see.

What keeps me going

I’d never forget that day when I decided what I want to become. I was attending a leadership camp that has changed how I envisioned my future self. I assisted a doctor during a medical mission. It was actually a free circumcision for the kids living in that barrio. I was so amazed by how the doctors neatly stitch the little boy and how happy they were of what they’re doing.

Before, my dream was to be an accountant and be a bad ass lawyer. That was what everybody expected of me. I’ll be a lawyer and be rich. If it were for my father, he would’ve wanted me to do that. But at that moment, I threw all of the ‘supposed’ dream that I had. I knew, I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to provide service like this to kids. I wanted to help people heal.

I was always fascinated with science. Biology was my thing. Science just makes me wanna go to school to listen to what my science teachers are gonna say. I would read anatomy books as a kid and when my dad brings home unused books from his office, I saw a Biology book with two penguins printed on the cover. I would read and read and read and be so happy with what I’m seeing. Finally, it made sense.

My childhood hobbies such as reading very advanced books for my age and being awed by the anatomy of any living thing was for a reason. It was because I know, I was going to study to become a doctor.

The path to this dream is not easy at all. I thought that if I want something bad enough, the world would conspire to make my dream come true. During premed, I was so sure that after I graduate, I will be going to medical school. However my family’s finances hit rock bottom, up to the point that I have to work outside the country to help my younger sister finish her degree. Suddenly, it’s been two years, and I haven’t gone to medical school yet. I had to face being in a foreign land, and be so frugal so that I can send money back home. It is a tough way to live indeed. But you know what? I don’t care. Time will pass anyway. I know that someday, I’ll be in medical school, training to be a doctor. Someday I’ll be able to do what I’m most passionate about.

We all have different circumstances. I have asked the universe why life has to be tough for me. But the universe doesn’t answer back. The sooner you accept that life is unfair, and some people are just born luckier than others, and that it’s totally not your fault, the better it gets. I accepted that. But that doesn’t mean that I’m okay with being in this state forever. I am working as much as I can with all my might, no matter how long it takes. I want a better life for my family and my future family. My future kids should not experience this. They will change the world and not think about all the basic necessities like food and money in the bank. Their life will be better. That’s my promise that keeps me going.

 

A Prose for the Hurting

Sometimes you wake up less grateful than you should be

Seeing more of the disappointments that this life has struck you

Sometimes you get tired of being who you are

Strength is inconsistent though you try you still fall down

You may shed a tear or two or utter curse words

You may go back to your cave and shut everybody out

But please let yourself be because sometimes this is what you need

To lock yourself in your world and not give a damn

Sweet girl embrace yourself and be okay with what you’re feeling

You are not bad, it’s okay, being weak is part of living

Pain urges to be felt and feel it you must

Crying makes you human, always remember that

Sleep dear child and let it wear off

There’s another day, another chance, a promise for pain to fade out

I know that you’re tired of living like this

But hey, there’s the sun, the moon, and stars how much more does it take?

The beauty of this world is enough to face the day

Cheer up, maybe stars will align someday

And when that moment comes you will smile and say

Thank God I stood up, thank God I lived up to this day.

10 things to do when you’re freaking out

There are days when we feel like we’re on cloud 9. We approach the day headstrong and just believe that anything is possible. Those are what we call the oh-so-good days, the awesome, conquer the universe days. Well, just imagine if everything goes the way it should be, the world will indeed be our oyster. But, let’s talk real.

That is a dream. Those days definitely happen, but, not all the time. It comes to a point sometimes that you feel like your world is crumbling, as if wherever you go, there’s mess. You feel so out of control. You freak out. What do you do then?

My dear, anxiety is normal. Freaking out for things that’s out of your control can cause you a meltdown. However, no need to worry because everyone has it, even that girl with thousands of likes on social media. Nobody’s life is perfect. Some people can handle it better, some just shove it in, while others collapse under too much pressure.

For me, these are the techniques that work when shit happens

  1. BREATHE

Focus on your breathing first. Inhale and exhale slowly. You’re alright, you’re still breathing. That’s what matters first, you are still breathing.

2. RELAX YOUR BODY.

Is your teeth clenched? Relax it. Pay attention to your facial muscles, are they tense? Relax them. Notice your shoulders and relax. To have a clear head, our body needs to be in a relaxed state. Yes, things  are chaotic, but, calming yourself first will help your brain think logically.

3. SAY THESE WORDS: EVERYTHING’S GONNA BE OKAY.

This may sound too cliché for you but eventually, there will be a way for any situation to work out. Even if you cannot see that now, believing that it will be okay will give you the sanity that you need to handle any situation. Whenever you start thinking that you’re gonna be doomed, push that thought away and replace it with one sentence: “Everything’s going to be okay.” Our actions change when we reprogram how we think. You have to believe that it’ll work out if you really want it to work out.

4. PLAN

Now that you have a calm mind and body, and a proper mindset, you can now start thinking of the solution. You can list the problem on a paper, and just brainstorm the possible solutions you can come up with. After a while, evaluate which solution is the best.

5. EXECUTE

Do the necessary actions for the solution to be executed. My favorite blogger gives this perfect advice for her followers  who ask her how to handle anxiety, (http://ladykaymd.tumblr.com/ ) “Action always fights anxiety.”

6. IF IT IS TOTALLY OUT OF YOUR CONTROL, LET GO.

There are battles that we fight and battles that we choose not to. It takes maturity and a lot of wisdom to choose the best thing to do in a situation. Sometimes, no matter how much we want things to end up well, it’s just out of our power. We all have limitations. If you really cannot do anything, or the situation will just get worse if you meddle, have the courage to accept the circumstance, no matter how crappy it is, and let go.  Acceptance is not cowardice. It is a brave act of trust.

7. FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS

Despite people saying, “Bottle your feelings and move on,” just feel what you are feeling. If crying makes you more okay, then cry. If you are sad, be sad. Honor what you feel. People who hide everything will certainly crack at some point. But, if you acknowledge your emotions, it will help. Numbing will take the anxiety for a while but nothing beats being true to yourself.

8. EXERCISE

I know, this is the last thing that you want to do. However, this is scientifically proven. When you’re having a bad day, all those frustrations are replaced by the  feeling of triumph when you complete a workout. Physically releasing negative vibes helps. If you want to help yourself, get out of that bed and MOVE.

9. DRINK A HOT BEVERAGE (or your favorite beverage)

This works so much for me. When I start overthinking and negative thoughts ramble in my brain, lemon or lime infused water does the trick. Maybe it’s the quiet time of drinking that helps.  Sometimes, when my friend is upset or when I am anxious or mad about something, drinking milk tea and talking just calms us.

10. CALL A FRIEND

Maybe you’ve heard somewhere that your biggest enemy is that voice inside your head. If you start noticing that the voice is not helping because it’s saying too much negative stuff, go and call your closest friend. It’s amazing how a different perspective can change the way that we approach a situation, plus, girlfriends are the best.

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You are human. You are not supposed to be perfect. There will be bad days but there are good days too. Being flawed, failing, and making mistakes is part of your journey. Feeling anxious is okay, but, you don’t have to feed your anxiety. You have to feel it, and use those nerves for something good. Channel it somewhere. It can be through a hobby, or whatever creative activity that you love.

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” – Soren Kierkegaard