Unlock your fullest potential

There are epiphanies that we suddenly realize as we grow old. If we are to compare ourselves from who we were a year ago, five years ago, and ten years ago, we’d notice that we changed a lot because of our experiences. I find this constant process of discovery as an interesting journey. You have these expectations about who you are and who you will be and yet you surprise yourself that you have turned out different. As we tread these changes, I think the consistent theme in these different phases of our lives is, we can be at peace with where we are when we are making sure that we fully unlock every version of ourselves, and hopefully before our last breath, we can say that “I have exhausted everything, I did everything that I possibly could.” There will be no regrets nor what ifs.

The next question is, “How do you unlock your fullest potential?” I can only speak based on how I approach life and what I have learned overall, and that is by breaking it in to tiny, actionable steps. 

1. Make an irrevocable decision about the life that you want.
       When you know where you are going, there will be less mental burden about the decisions you’ll be making. Decide what kind of life you want, without any sort of guilt. Do you want to be a millionaire? Do you want to travel all over the world? Do you want to live a simple life on a hill or in the middle of a forest? Ask yourself this question everyday, “What do I really want?” and listen to your gut’s honest answer. Write it down. To be honest, I feel sad whenever I meet someone who is just wasting precious Earth time wandering aimlessly. We all have moments of uncertainties, but at some point, you have to choose your path. Ten years from now, what does a beautiful life look like to you. Make it as detailed as possible and then that’s it, that’s the life you want.


2. Schedule it. 
      If it’s not scheduled, it’s not getting done. This is just honest advice. If you keep on saying that I want to be financially successful, or have a family, or a car, and you’re just sitting there on the couch and praying to be abundant, I hate to break it to you, but it’s not happening. You have to put it in your calendar and make time for each step that will take you closer to the kind of life that you truly want. Start small. Take those baby steps which might seem insignificant at the moment. You’ll see that those tiny actions will accumulate and result to something great, something that only sheer hard work could ever do.


3. Eliminate anything that brings you down. 
      Are you spending so much time on social media? Do you have thought patterns or belief systems that aren’t helping you rise? Well then it’s time to let go of them. Turn your phone off when you have to focus and just concentrate on whatever task is at hand. Stay in the moment you are in. If it’s not making you a happier and better person, then let go of it. It could be a bad habit, or a dragging relationship, or even people who disguise themselves as friends. Choose your energy. Make sure that even if you plummet in to negativity a few times, you still take steps to keep yourself on a higher energy vibe.


4. Ask for help. 
      You are not an island. You belong to a species of organisms who need socializing. The news, COVID, financial setbacks, illnesses, they all are heavy to carry alone. The thing is, you don’t have to face every single one of them on your own. Ask for help. Be brave to humbly seek assistance whenever you need it. I can’t tell you how this simple step changed everything for me. I used to be the person who wants to prove that she doesn’t need any help from anyone. It’s pathological. This attitude has allowed me to be strong, independent, brave and extremely self-reliant, but it also made me a loner and somehow it closed my doors to opportunities and relationships that could have been good for me. Be self-reliant, but when you need help, please ask for it. 


5. Surround yourself with people who want to see you win. 
      Be careful who you spend most of your time with. If you just gossip, drink, or watch TV with your friends, I hate to break it to you, but you are not with the right people. If you want to become successful, you have to make sure that you are in an environment that will allow you to grow at the level that you want to. Talk about goals and how you are achieving them. Discuss ideas, passion, and creativity. Generate that energy of relentlessness. Assess if the people you are with want to see you win. Filipino culture taught us to value family, but sometimes extended family members can cause too much toxicity. You will get opinions you didn’t ask for or unwanted visits and demands. If that’s the case, stop complaining, save up, and move out. If they are not helping you, just get out of that negative space. You can’t possibly grow in a soil that isn’t capable of providing the nutrients that you need to achieve your highest potential.


6. Expect setbacks. 
      This is not a world of unicorns and rainbows. But I guess you already know that. Following your passion or chasing a dream can be equated to going through loopholes with fire on its outlines. It’s like running on a track with lanes with shards of glass or burning coal. It’s kind of morbid but there will be times when you will want to give up because it’s hard and painful. Circumstances will get out of control just when you think everything is okay. Expect setbacks, my love. There will be highs and lows but just hold on to hope. Keep the faith and know that nothing is permanent, even trials.


7. Have a go-to person. 
      To say that we have that one best friend is false in my opinion. I have a friend that I confide in depending on what I am going through. I hope you have these people. They will give you honest advice and a listening and non-judgmental ear. Having real friends is very comforting. They get you back to your senses when you are getting off track. They will patiently hold your hand when you are still healing. How do you have these people? Be a friend. Be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on for others, and when it’s your turn to be punched by the world, someone will always be there for you.


8. Come back stronger. 
      When setbacks happen and you feel like you can’t take another blow anymore, rest. Allow your body and your mind the time and space for recovery. Stop pushing when you know within yourself that you are mentally and physically exhausted. This time frame varies for every person. When you are already rested, roll up your sleeves and with courage, start again. You have learned the lessons, and now it’s time to use that wisdom in getting back up. Know that you are strong because you have gotten through the unthinkable. Nothing is impossible for someone who doesn’t have the phrase “give up” in their vocabulary. 


9. Give. 
      Having a generous heart will allow abundance to flow in your life. I have proven this repeatedly. Whenever I feel like there isn’t enough money or when I am scared, I give. It may be my time, or any form of help that I could give. Surprisingly, abundance follows when your heart is not guarded by the scarcity wall. Volunteer for an advocacy you believe in. Serve. Just give not because you want something in return but do it because it feels good to make others feel better.


10. Surrender. 

For me, life is 50% what happens to you and 50% of it will come from your actions. We can do so much with our precious 50%. When I wake up every morning, I do my best to keep things in order and accomplish the tasks that I need to do so that my dreams will come into fruition. But I also know that there will be circumstances and forces which are out of my control, and so when I pray I surrender that 50%. “No matter how this day goes, I will do my best and the Universe will do the rest for me.” It was hard for a control freak like me to utter the word “surrender.” However, I sleep better ever since I accepted that things will get out of control, schedules will get ruined, annoying people will pop up, but how I perceive these circumstances and my legwork is all that matters. Surrender your dream and each moment and eventually you’ll get there. 

The Cure for Worry

Have you ever felt a pang of loneliness that just seem to come out of nowhere? Like, yesterday you were feeling so great. In fact you thought you could conquer the world. You felt that you’re in the flow of things. You were unstoppable. But suddenly, this wave of emotions just submerged you in an ocean of sadness. Where in the world did that come from? You might have asked yourself why you have to feel those things that you were trying so hard to get rid of.

Here’s the thing, what you felt was a necessary low vibration part of your life. Just like in the teachings of Jesus, there is a season for everything, “a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2)”And they are all essential. The plucking and dying part is needed. You do not have a choice.

You have to go through all these range of emotions because it will make you into a different but better you. There are no shortcuts or escapes from these stages in your life. If you run from it, it will go after you and manifest in negative patterns. It could be as mundane as watching too much TV or something worse like drugs and alcohol addiction. Even overthinking arises from trying to figure out the ‘why’ in your feelings. So what can you do when you are experiencing this sadness black hole?

Feel it.

Whatever you are feeling now, just feel it. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. You are doing what you can with what you have. You are showing up even when it is the last thing that you want to do.

You got out of bed. You took a bath, brushed your teeth. You showed up! Isn’t that what’s important? Showing up even when it’s so hard to do it. Be proud of yourself for showing up.

One good example of this is when you’re out of money or in tons of debt. Instead of thinking that you are doomed and fueling all these negative energy, just breathe. recognize even the coins that you have, appreciate them. Thank God or whatever higher power you believe in with what you’ve got. Money flows. Money is a tool but it’s not everything. Make peace with money. Be kind to your heart. Be glad that you are in this world doing something. This attitude will bring you joy. And when there is joy, abundance follows. Just try it and see.

Try to remember those people you’ve helped. Back-read their messages and let it sink in you that there’s something in you that only you have that in a way has changed these people. Say to yourself that today, in any way that you can, you are going to be that light.

When you’re feeling helpless, help someone. Right at this moment maybe, you just wanna get inside your cave and curl up, and hide from everything. But that’s not you anymore. You are resilient. No matter what’s thrown at you, you will always find your way back to that place of joy, love, and ease.

Stop worrying about money or being alone. Start appreciating whatever is in your purse and bank account. Wow! ____ dollars. Amazing! Money flows. So you need not worry. You are going to manifest money in ways that you can’t even imagine. Stop moping. The world needs your sparkle.

Remember, it’s okay to mope, just try not staying in sadness island for a long time. Honor what you feel. Accept who you are wholeheartedly. Accept that you couldn’t do your workout today. Accept that you can’t finish all your workload all at once. You are hustling with all you’ve got. Give yourself a break. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

All you have to care about right now is this moment. As you are sitting in your office or taking care of your kids or whatever you’re doing, visualize how this day is gonna be like. Again, visualize, not make expectations. If something that is not in your vision happens, it’s alright. You are fine sweetie. You always find a way. The universe has your back. It is not working against you. The universe is for you.

Is that a smile? Nice. See? Just breathe and relax. You are here to experience life, not to run a race. Say it aloud: I AM NOT IN A RACE. Just do things one step at a time and stop comparing. Right now you’re breathing and your heart is beating and there is nothing more important than that.