Categories
feminism Self help

Dear ladies, it’s okay.

In a patriarchal world, it is possible to carve your own path. You are not here to please people, you are here to fully express who you are and be successful in your own right.

Women are just amazing creatures, period. We are basically a bunch of superhumans who are expected to be multitaskers by default. We see burnout moms, who try to be everything to everyone. We see young girls who try so hard to fit in a box just to feel seen and accepted. We see career driven women who get shamed for being too much. If you have ever felt like this, then read on woman because this is for you.

It’s okay to wear or not wear make-up.
Growing up, it seems like beauty has been a big deal everywhere you go. There’s an expectation for women to always look pretty. You’ve had a ton of exams, so it’s okay to look like a mess. You just lost someone, so it’s fine to not put your make up on when you go out. If make up makes you feel uncomfortable, you don’t have to wear one. Just get out and be in your most comfortable state. Whether that means wearing a red lipstick or not, it’s fine. As long as you are comfortable in your skin, then you’re good.

It’s okay to speak up and be heard.
You probably have been in situations wherein you are expected to just submit to men. From uncles who scold their wives to workmates who cut you off because you’re a girl, I’m quite sure you can name a lot more. Who else hasn’t experienced being with a man-splaining douchebag? So woman, remember this, your opinion matters and if there’s no seat for you on the table, then make your own table. If anyone is trying to silence you because you’re wearing pink or because you’re too “hormonal”, tell them to screw off, because this woman has a brain and what she’s saying matters.

It’s okay to be smart.
We are so afraid of saying the wrong thing so we choose to be silent. We downgrade our intelligence because we don’t want to shake a man’s ego. This is such a disservice to yourself and your god-given talents. Never play dumb or silent just to keep the peace. Say what you want to say. Slay. You’re smart so just show it off. Do you think they care about not sounding smart enough? They don’t. Roll up your sleeves and show them how badass you are. Show the men how it is when the woman does the job.

It’s okay to wear a bikini.
Stop waiting for that day when you don’t have rolls or stretchmarks before you start enjoying life. Every flaw and scar is a part of your pure awesomeness. There’s the beach and you have your body, so that’s a beach body. If you really want to wear a bikini, wear one. Enjoy the sun. Life is too short to care about what people are going to say.

It’s okay to call someone out on their BS.
So someone is disrespecting you, call them out. Whether it’s family, a colleague, a friend, tell them when they are crossing your boundaries. You should never let anyone treat you like crap because you know what? You are a child of God, so does a child of God deserve to be sweared and shouted at? No. It just takes five seconds of bravery to call out a bully.

It’s okay to not love cooking.
They say women are meant to stay in the kitchen. But let’s be honest, some women, never enjoy that and they don’t get why they’re expected to. If you love to cook, then hurray, good for you because you found something you love to do. But if you don’t then it’s fine too. As long as you can cook basic dishes when you’re hungry and as long as your kids are fed, then you don’t have to be passionate about cooking just because you’re a woman. Do it because you love it, not because you are expected to be good at it.

It’s okay to not be skinny.
Humans have unique bodies. You are not supposed to fit in this box that says only skinny girls are pretty. You are beautiful whatever your size is. Stop forcing yourself to be skinny to the expense of your mental well-being. Love the body you’re in and keep it healthy, by having enough sleep, regular exercise, and eating nutritious food. That body is your vessel to do all the amazing things that you are set to do. Stop criticizing it, start loving it.

It’s okay to be emotional.
If you just study a woman’s menstrual cycle, you’ll understand why you will feel crazy sometimes. Just imagine a cauldron filled with spices that don’t get along, That’s what happens. Estrogen and progesterone rises. Luteinizing hormone peaks, then it drops suddenly and slowly rises. This happens to us on a monthly basis and every change has its own chemical reaction. So yeah, it’s true, we can get crazy because of our hormones. So forgive yourself for being emotional because that is how prefectly imperfect we are. Radical self love is a must.


It’s okay to be bossy.
Just because we are used to seeing men as leaders, that doesn’t mean we can’t be bosses too. You might have been called a bossy girl as a kid. You might have been hated for that and you don’t understand why. But now think about it deeply. We had very few role models of women leaders that’s why people get intimidated when they see such a strong and feisty woman taking charge. Some people will tell you to tone it down, but ironically when guys are bossy they are perceived as good leaders. But you know what, instead of being bossy, rephrase it into being a woman with leadership skills. If they are intimidated then so be it, as long as you are doing your job in the most authentic and humane way, insecure comments will be ignored.

It’s okay to leave when you’re not being respected.
Leave the room when someone threatens your peace. You should not endure a boss that degrades women or a relationship with someone who threatens you or physically abuses you. Draw clear boundaries and zero tolerance non-negotiables. In a patriarchal world, it is possible to carve your own path. You are not here to please people, you are here to fully express who you are and be successful in your own right. If someone shows you who they are as Maya Angelou says, believe them the first time. Never settle for relationships with disrespectful people.

So can you add more? I would really love your inputs on this. I hope you are taking them in and if you are already a strong and empowered woman, then spread the word and teach other girls to do the same. This may still be a man’s world but the tides are changing. Go out and shine.

By Katey

Hi, I'm Katey, a medical student, writer, teacher, and biologist. This is where I write the lessons that I've learned during my adventures. Hit follow to get my latest tips, life updates, and even poetry. If you want to live a life with passion and purpose then you have come to the right place. Keep on shining.

5 replies on “Dear ladies, it’s okay.”

All you said is true! ❤️
What can you say about ladies making the first move? 😅 haha I think it’s okay to be open to what you feel about the other person. Because it’s not always you who should be nurtured and loved, right? I don’t know, maybe that’s just my current situation. 🥵😂

Like

I think it’s totally fine. I’m a big believer of, “If you want it, go get it,” haha. But just remember to guard your heart all costs because not all guys are good. IYKWIM. Your question just inspired my next article. 😉

Liked by 1 person

Yes, of course! Praying alwaysss for my heart. Thank you 🥰 haha I’m glad you got inspired by it. If I may add, what if you want to get back with your ex and would want to fix your mistakes? 😜 LOL ooph

Liked by 1 person

I think that would depend on your individual situation. Communication is always the key. Being open and vulnerable to that ex would help because it would take the weight off your shoulders. Just be honest and say the things that you want to say in the most loving and authentic way. However, you need to be extra brave, and be okay with whatever the outcome is. Goodluck dear. 🥰

Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s