This pandemic has put a lot of medical students on a limbo. Suddenly we have all these free time to study, which is amazing but on the other side we are in this endless cycle of worrying.
I am in grief because of so many healthworkers dying. I am worried of any of my family members getting sick. I am thinking about my friends who are all alone for almost two months. I get panic attacks. I am sick to my bones because of worry.
I don’t know if you are feeling this too, but typical me would be spewing these thoughts, and sometimes I do believe them. So far, I can’t stay as productive and efficient as I used to. But, I try. I try so damn hard to break out of this toxic tendency to overthink.
On a typical pandemic day I would read medicine books for two to four hours. I have also set a practice that would give me a boost and make studying a religious and spiritual practice:
1. Read a non medicine-relate book for thirty minutes while drinking coffee.
2. Write on my journal about yesterday’s events.
3. Take a bath. (because it’s summer)
4. Watch my favorite life coach on Youtube for some pep talk. (Marie Forleo).
5. Write creatively for thirty minutes.
6. Study or make reports for two hours.
7. Study another subject for one hour.
8. Eat lunch.
9. Study for 2 hours which turns into an afternoon nap.lol.
10. Laze around the entire day: Watch kdrama, talk to family, play with my brother, phonecall with my partner, or watch TV.
Based on your judgement, is it productive? By the way I probably do this four out five days in a week. So yeah, maybe I am productive. But I also had three breakdowns already. My point is, don’t beat yourself up if you can’t be productive. Just take care of yourself. It’s okay to be scared, to be productive, to be lazy, as long as you are safe, okay?
How about you? Tell me how you are holding up. Let’s support each other.
kate samaniego 
It’s fine to take things slow especially now that we’re in a lockdown. There is no more need to worry as long as you keep yourself and your loved ones safe! Faith and Hope is key ❤️
Being productive for me is at least doing one important task for the day in the morning (until God knows when). The rest can be relax time since you know you already did your day’s work. No need to beat yourself up just like what you said~
On the other hand, since there will be no more classes left for us, I’m trying to learn how to be productive and actually encoding it in my system.
Today, I just finished scheduling my study hours and what subject I’m going to study for certain days.
Having a morning routine, journaling, meditating, exercising, learning, reading, and writing really makes my mind happy every day. 😊
I’ll pray for you tonight, Katey! May you have peace in your heart, mind, and soul.
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Hi Maeve! Thank you for those really kind words. Maybe it’s the Type A persona that most medical students have that keep some of us feeling like we’re not putting enough effort. But I try my best to avoid these thoughts. I started having anxious thoughts when our school decided to continue online classes, hence the pressure.
Anyway, I appreciate your prayers. 😊 I believe all of us will get through this as stronger and more hopeful humans.
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