Do you ever think that you are not enough? The feeling of inadequacy is something that crosses your mind on a constant basis. Will you ever be a doctor who’s good enough? Maybe you asked yourself, “Why can’t I be just like my classmates? They are doing better, adjusting way better.” You don’t know why you feel paralyzed.
This is for you, the medical student with low self esteem. I know you are always outside of your comfort zone and it sucks. You don’t adjust quickly. That is just who you are. But remember what you are training for. You are learning how to save lives. You are trying to be your future patient’s best hope and chance to live.
I hope you remember now more than ever how important this dream of yours is. Remember how organized you were as a kid? It was just like yesterday when you opened a biology book with a penguin cover and started reading, and loving it.
Always remember the joy in learning. You are here because of your curiosity. Let it be bigger than your worries. I know you always doubt yourself but isn’t learning all these things amazing?
I know you wish to be like your past self. Where did all the motivation go? Maybe you should just keep on moving even if you are feeling shitty. Maybe that is just all the burnout talking. I know you don’t have a clue when the spark will come back but what I know is that you should still feel grateful that each morning you wake up, you still get the fighting chance to live, express yourself, and be free.
Be free sweet child. Live the life you dedicated yourself to. Bad days? Suck it up. It’s just the yin and yang of life. Have fun along the way. I know it’s all too much. But you know that you’re the type of girl who can handle ANYTHING. Go amazing girl, shine.
kate samaniego 
I also keep on asking where all my motivation went especially during the 2nd year. I admit that it’s really hard to keep on moving if you constantly blame yourself for being not good enough.
I’ve been reminded that all the negativities we feel are just there to distract us from actually moving forward. Thankfully, this lockdown has been a blessing in disguise if not for all but some people who are having self-doubts. Medicine is hard but we can absolutely enjoy the journey! Remember that God is bigger than our worries.
God bless on your journey, doktora! 🙂 All the best.
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Thank you doktora! 💕
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