Everything has been unstable as long as i can remember. Maybe that’s the reason why I want to be a doctor, to have a stable job, a stable home, and everything stable because I never had that. I never felt like tomorrow will not be a struggle.
I was born in a problematic, and kinda traumatic family. My negativity goes deep. My outlook in life has been a net result of instability. It’s hard to focus. It’s even harder to reach a goal when problems crop up like spores of a fungi.
To be realistic, happiness seems so overrated. It’s a tiny oasis in the midst of this never ending desert. But still, humans are fools. We believe in the ‘happy’. We’re supposed to show everyone how happy we are to the point that some even love bragging how successful they are.
But yes, I am also a fool. I am one of those people who will encourage others, be a listening ear, and a shoulder to lean on. I always give positive advice to my friends. After all, that’s the lot that I can do. I also make them believe in a happier world even though I myself have a hard time convincing this twisted brain of mine.
Yes, its hypocrite-ish. I am a hypocrite if we’ll base a person’s character in words and actions. Sometimes i mean what i say. Sometimes I don’t.
Yes, I’m a walking contradiction. My views can change in a blink of an eye. It’s not because i’m a push over. It’s because I’m too open-minded.
No, I’m not a bad person. Being vulnerable does not make me a shitty human being. It makes me sane, a normal person.
So how do we live? How do we get through?
We remain fools. Although we know deep inside how lonely this world is and how injustice stares right at our face, we choose to believe that somehow, that tiny bit of good is still there. At least for me, that’s what works.
Unstable situations may make it hard for us to focus, but we have to just think of the next tiny step. Even if it’s just washing your face, fixing your bed, or getting up, it adds up. It could probably lead to a net result of happy.